Sacramento Sound Card Repair Service
Once upon a time there was a woman who lived in the Sacramento forest. She lived in a small wood cabin with her three cats. She liked to listen to music all day long and for this she used her enchanted computer, which was powered by magical wood elves. One day her music stopped playing, so she went to look at her computer. The wood elves had stopped dancing. They were all gathered around a small elf that looked very sick. His name was Sound Card, and he was responsible for singing the songs of his people, which the woman enjoyed very much.
“Oh no!” she said. “Sound Card! Your beautiful voice has stopped singing!”
Sound Card looked at her with his large wood elf eyes. They were full of pain. “I’ve blown a capacitor,” he said slowly. Then he closed his eyes and sighed, falling into a deep sleep. The small house was silent and even the cats stopped mewing.
“Is there anyone in the entire Sacramento forest that can help me?” the woman said to no one in particular. “Sound Card needs help!” So she packed up some food and a few of her belongings, put Sound Card in a small pouch, and set out to find someone who could repair her precious sound card.
The first house she came to was blue with yellow eaves. She knocked on the door. A man dressed in black and white opened the door.
“Hello,” she said. “My wood elf Sound Card has fallen ill.”
“Come in,” he said. The woman could tell that something was wrong.
“I just wanted to know if you knew anyone who could fix him,” she said.
“I’ll just take a look at him,” he said. I might be able to fix him. Cautious, she stepped into the house. She brought out Sound Card. The man looked at him for a few moments. “I can fix him,” he said. “It will cost you thirty gold coins. Also, you owe me fifteen gold coins for my diagnosis. I also recommend you get a new hard drive.”
“But Hard Drive isn’t even with me!” the woman exclaimed, “so why should I pay you for just telling me what I already knew?” She started for the door, but the man grabbed her arm. He started spewing words that she didn’t understand, like he was speaking in a different language.
“SATAIDEPATAUSB!” he shouted. The woman was very scared and could not escape his grasp.
Then there came a loud sound and she closed her eyes. When she opened them, there was another man standing there. He was very thin, and very pale, and large horn-rimmed glasses sat upon his brow. He was unarmed, but already the woman felt safe around him. “Begone, evil villain!” as he swept his arm up. The black-and-white-clad man let go of the woman and rushed out through the now-broken door.
“Well what do we have here?” the scrawny-looking man said. He bent low and scooped up Sound Card from where he lay on the ground. “It looks like your Sound Card needs a little repair.” With a smooth hand motion over the elf’s prone body, he breathed softly and the little singing creature stirred, coughed, and sat up. He looked around him for a second, dazed, and then up at the mysterious stranger. “Who are you? Where did you come from?”
“I am a Nerd,” he replied. “We come from many places. I have made my home in the Sacramento forest. You may call upon me whenever you need help.” Then, without another word, he started to turn and walk out the door.
“Wait!” the woman said, “How will I know how to find you?”
The Nerd turned in the doorway and the light spilled in and glinted off his glasses.
“I’ll always be here for you. After all, I am on call.” He was gone.
